In saying this, it has caused me to question a lot. What exactly DOES it mean to pray for the will of the Lord or to pray that someone be healed. How to our fragile, incapable hearts deal with this situation. I still do not have all the answers and never will fully understand just how much the Lord wants to work intricately in our lives or how big and divine His purpose is. However, I will say this situation has taught me a lot.
Now, up until now, I have been very quiet. I am the type that when this kind of stuff happens, I have to process it, leave it in my head and heart, and pray for belief that God can do this. Faith that He can move mountains, no matter how big the mountain seems, is not something that comes naturally to me as much as I hate to say it. I can easily say "God can heal" or "God can do the impossible" but when it comes down to it, I let the lies of the enemy rush into my head discourage me. So I pray "God, give me belief. Lord, help me in the unbelief." I cry out to Him, begging Him for that.
Today, when I received the update that it is going to take, as a dear brother of mine phrased it, "nothing short of a miracle," I really became worried. Angry even, why was the Lord allowing this to happen? I lost the sense of peace that I had before, and the sense of "He will be okay." Almost immediately. The whole time in this believing "God is in control" in my mind meant "tomorrow Sean will be healed." I never imagined that it would come to this. However, tonight the Lord has quickly reminded me that HE STILL HAS THIS. He has not once lost hold of the situation. From the day the world was created, He has ALWAYS fulfilled His promises. When trouble strikes, He has never left. He walks through it and carries us when we finally stop thinking we can do it and rely fully on Him. This seems so small, but for me it is a huge concept to wrap my mind around.
I do believe the Lord is completely ready to heal Sean, and selfishly, if you're like me, you want him back at whatever it takes. Campus simply isn't the same without His quirky, lively, joyful self waltzing around singing Imagine Dragons and making creeper faces, now is it? But at the same time, we have no way to see how God operates. Think of when Job lost everything He had, and how during that trial He STILL PRAISED GOD. GOD IS STILL GOOD. There is not a moment where He is not seeking to fit every puzzle piece perfectly in order to win back the hearts of His children before sending His son back to get us.
Sean has been a believer for years. Guys, Sean was HEALED the day he accepted Christ, no questions! And he will for eternity, be completely healed and dancing with Jesus, of course making Him laugh, I could imagine. That is such hope for us! By His stripes, we were healed THAT DAY.
To us, our minds can only see a portion. So pray for healing. Pray for complete remaking of Sean's brain. Pray for his family, and the difficulty they are facing just wanting to see their sweet baby boy well again. Pray for his community. Never stop, pray with all your heart. I know I won't. God hears those! But in the midst of that, let us not forget to thank and praise the Lord for the work He has used Sean his whole life, and Sean in this situation to complete only for His great glory! Let us not forget Whose hands have been placed around Sean, Who has him firmly and Who hears our every prayer and cry going to Him. Let us not forget how He, too, lost a loved one in a tragic way. His own Son, nailed to a cross, tortured, tormented, before His very eyes. To save us. Lost sheep who would never be able to come home. He knows what this feels like, watching this unfold. THAT is what we praise Him for! That is what we keep in sight!
If we can learn to have joy through these hard times, we have so much more we gain. I do not take this light-hearted. Sean is a precious child of the King, and I know God sees and hears the pain and heart cries of each of His children on earth as we ache. He does not ignore those. He wraps His loving arms around us and catches every tear that has fallen. He also knows the future, since He made it. He knows the results, and He knows how He best be glorified. I know if Sean could know, that is what he himself would ask for.
So friends, I ask now, even though you have been already. Pray for the situation, for the hands in it. It is okay to mourn and be upset, even be angry. After all, Christ says that this world was meant for trials and tribulations, but Jesus already overcame the world (John 16:33)! So REJOICE IN HIM. HE IS STILL SO GOOD. And leave the outcome up to His beautiful, marvelous plan that one day, we can rejoice and dance in right along with Him as conquers and co-heirs of Christ!
At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One.
Job 6:10
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