"May we be consumed with the Creator rather than with the things created."

I don't know why I am choosing to blog this, other than the fact that it really spoke into my heart this morning. I know a lot of people have the Jesus Calling devotional, and today's passage was completely relevant to my life this morning.

"I want you to be all Mine. I am weaning you from other dependencies. Your security rests in Me alone- not in other people, not in your circumstances. Depending only on Me may feel like walking on a tightrope, but there is a safety net underneath: the everlasting arms. So don't be afraid of falling. Instead, look ahead to Me. I am always before you, beckoning you on-one step at a time. Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate you from my loving presence. 
Deuteronomy 33:27
Romans 8:39

Y'all, this is absolutely incredible. I don't even know why this hit me the way it did, but I just got in from breakfast and decided to check today's out, and it was an instant, continuous flow of tears screaming MY GOD HOW GREAT YOU ARE. He is truly ALL. WE. NEED. My biggest security is often not found in Christ, but instead found in my friends or the good things happening. In the last 2 weeks, He has been teaching me this heavily. I can say Christ is my focus, but in reality is He? Look at it this way: if every single thing you had ever treasured was taken from you- your home, your friends, your electronics, your family, your job, your money- whatever that may be, would you still find treasure in Jesus Himself? Or do you only find treasure in the things He chooses to give you? That was a tough question to answer. I want to be so captivated by Christ that nothing else matters. Of course, we still love all those things He has blessed us with. I know I have been given the greatest blessings I get to call my sisters and brothers in Christ. But the Bible talks about how all those things should be HATE in comparison to how much we love our Savior. That is CRAZY.

As I sit here, one of my neighbors is playing this song:

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I wont refuse
Each new day again Ill choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know Youre sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

So when You call I wont delay
This my song through all my days

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

All my delight is in You, Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You, Lord, forevermore 

I want these lyrics as I hear them to be my heart's prayer. I am praying right now that whoever reads this, whether you have been walking with the Lord for a while or whether you don't have a relationship with Him at all, that He uses this small tool to bring Him most glory and touch hearts this morning.

"My grace is sufficient for you; my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Give thanks to the Lord for HE IS GOOD. His love ENDURES.

       Tonight I have dealt with some hard news on a dear sweet friend of mine who has been in the hospital from a car wreck, and it is at the point where if our God does not completely remake His brain, then Sean will not be able to make it, medically speaking. Now I do know that the Lord is completely WILLING and ABLE to form Sean's brain into the quirky, fun, thoughtful, and lovely self that is was.
       In saying this, it has caused me to question a lot. What exactly DOES it mean to pray for the will of the Lord or to pray that someone be healed. How to our fragile, incapable hearts deal with this situation. I still do not have all the answers and never will fully understand just how much the Lord wants to work intricately in our lives or how big and divine His purpose is. However, I will say this situation has taught me a lot.
       Now, up until now, I have been very quiet. I am the type that when this kind of stuff happens, I have to process it, leave it in my head and heart, and pray for belief that God can do this. Faith that He can move mountains, no matter how big the mountain seems, is not something that comes naturally to me as much as I hate to say it. I can easily say "God can heal" or "God can do the impossible" but when it comes down to it, I let the lies of the enemy rush into my head discourage me. So I pray "God, give me belief. Lord, help me in the unbelief." I cry out to Him, begging Him for that.
       Today, when I received the update that it is going to take, as a dear brother of mine phrased it, "nothing short of a miracle," I really became worried. Angry even, why was the Lord allowing this to happen? I lost the sense of peace that I had before, and the sense of "He will be okay." Almost immediately. The whole time in this believing "God is in control" in my mind meant "tomorrow Sean will be healed." I never imagined that it would come to this. However, tonight the Lord has quickly reminded me that HE STILL HAS THIS. He has not once lost hold of the situation. From the day the world was created, He has ALWAYS fulfilled His promises. When trouble strikes, He has never left. He walks through it and carries us when we finally stop thinking we can do it and rely fully on Him. This seems so small, but for me it is a huge concept to wrap my mind around.
       I do believe the Lord is completely ready to heal Sean, and selfishly, if you're like me, you want him back at whatever it takes. Campus simply isn't the same without His quirky, lively, joyful self waltzing around singing Imagine Dragons and making creeper faces, now is it? But at the same time, we have no way to see how God operates. Think of when Job lost everything He had, and how during that trial He STILL PRAISED GOD. GOD IS STILL GOOD. There is not a moment where He is not seeking to fit every puzzle piece perfectly in order to win back the hearts of His children before sending His son back to get us.
       Sean has been a believer for years. Guys, Sean was HEALED the day he accepted Christ, no questions! And he will for eternity, be completely healed and dancing with Jesus, of course making Him laugh, I could imagine. That is such hope for us! By His stripes, we were healed THAT DAY.
        To us, our minds can only see a portion. So pray for healing. Pray for complete remaking of Sean's brain. Pray for his family, and the difficulty they are facing just wanting to see their sweet baby boy well again. Pray for his community. Never stop, pray with all your heart. I know I won't. God hears those!  But in the midst of that, let us not forget to thank and praise the Lord for the work He has used Sean his whole life, and Sean in this situation to complete only for His great glory! Let us not forget Whose hands have been placed around Sean, Who has him firmly and Who hears our every prayer and cry going to Him. Let us not forget how He, too, lost a loved one in a tragic way. His own Son, nailed to a cross, tortured, tormented, before His very eyes. To save us. Lost sheep who would never be able to come home. He knows what this feels like, watching this unfold. THAT is what we praise Him for! That is what we keep in sight!
        If we can learn to have joy through these hard times, we have so much more we gain. I do not take this light-hearted. Sean is a precious child of the King, and I know God sees and hears the pain and heart cries of each of His children on earth as we ache. He does not ignore those. He wraps His loving arms around us and catches every tear that has fallen. He also knows the future, since He made it. He knows the results, and He knows how He best be glorified. I know if Sean could know, that is what he himself would ask for.
        So friends, I ask now, even though you have been already. Pray for the situation, for the hands in it. It is okay to mourn and be upset, even be angry. After all, Christ says that this world was meant for trials and tribulations, but Jesus already overcame the world (John 16:33)! So REJOICE IN HIM. HE IS STILL SO GOOD. And leave the outcome up to His beautiful, marvelous plan that one day, we can rejoice and dance in right along with Him as conquers and co-heirs of Christ! 

At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One.
Job 6:10

A fresh annointing.... 2014

Is it just me, or did 2013 fly by WAAAAY fast. Like seriously. It gets faster every year.

So everyone does this thing at the start of every year where you come up with goals you want to meet by the end of the year, tasks you want to accomplish, places you want to be, books you want to have read, etc. The last few years, I have been only half way successful, because I have set goals that are so traditional and not specific to my life. Like "read the bible more." Okay, how much is "more"? That is a great goal, but for me, I need specifics. More could just mean one day more than the year before, and that would not be what I had intended. Or "Be nicer to people." I need specifics. Connections to my life personally where I can set small goals, and fulfill them according to how the Lord's will for my life plays out. So here are mine this year.

1. Spend time in the Word DAILY. Not like a pressured "Ugh I have to read today" but even just a few minutes before I run out the door, putting on my armor of God and asking Him to show me people to love. This is so very difficult for me a lot because I find "better things to do" but I know being able to passionately pursue Christ and learning more about who He is comes from this!
(Psalm 119:9-11)


2. Begin taking the lies that Satan attacks me with in my self-confidence and turning them into beautiful reminders of the princess that Christ calls me!


3. RUN WITH MY WHOLE HEART. Be able to run a 10K by June and a half marathon by December...... Scary thought.


4. Instead of spending all my time on the internet, netflix, or being social spend time talking to Jesus. I love love love being with my running encouragers, my "twin", all my KT sisters, my friends from home, etc. Which is wonderful because they encourage me in Christ. But how much would my life change if I longed to spend time with my Savior just as much? Probably a lot.


5. Quit biting my nails. They are soooo much prettier long, and I don't want to be an adult still doing a childish thing I have done my whole life.


6. Learn more words to use instead of using my two favorites all the time, precious and lovely. There is a whole dictionary word of them you know. Reading is a good way to do that!


7. Grow in a deeper relationship with my family. Regardless of any mending that needs to be done, our God is so able. He is the ultimate Healer, and His mercies are so new every morning!


8. Learn patience. Try not to always want the best parking spot, prayers answered immediately, or things done right when I want them. Slow down, enjoy life's slow moments and don't be lazy about it! Ask to see through His eyes. Jesus had to carry His own solid, wooden cross all the way up to His place of crucifixion and didn't complain....what can I say to that? (Romans 12:12)


9. Love people more openly, not just being able to say "I love you" over text or social media. As great as that is too, Truly show them LOVE through actions. And not just the easy ones to love, what about the hard ones? There is no reward in that. (Luke 6:27-36)


10. I have already been blessed this year who is able to constantly pour into my heart, and I want to find someone who I too can pour myself out to. Christ has done so much to keep it all bottled up! Have a Paul and a Timothy! (Proverbs 27:17)


11. Be able to willingly tithe because I know my money is not my money. I don't have to be stressed about it! (Malachi 3:8-10)


12. The money and time I do have to spend, use a large portion of it on others. Use it to bless people in need that God puts in my path that do not have. Even though I think sometimes I am just flat broke, and as college students we usually are, there are always people I can pour blessing on. Invest time in people, learn about what Christ has done in them, or how you can encourage them.


13. Commit daily to prayers for my parents, for God to do unexplainable things in their marriage. For the rock of our family to become Christ. Even now it is so hard to understand or believe, but again. Our God is so able to accomplish what we ask of Him, and will teach us so much through it only to glorify Himself. (Ephesians 5)


Okay, so those are it. Now I realize they're not all going to happen perfectly everyday, and I understand that. Actually, none of them are happen if it is in my strength, because I really don't take well to change. But I do know of Someone who is much bigger than me and shows so much grace to me despite my being so undeserving, and He will help push me. Plus, now that I have encouragement and accountability, I know I will have all I can have.

Stay tuned to find out how it is going, and what the Lord is choosing to do this year. As I write this, this sweet reminder just came... Remember, we are not promised even another day, so don't put off things until tomorrow that Christ is calling you to do TODAY. He wants to do a work in us!