Let's be honest, change is hard. Change can be really, really hard. Some people thrive in change, some people go into recluse mode during change, and some people are seemingly unaffected by change. Regardless of which one of them you believe you are, I believe most of the people in this world that have any sort of emotions at all find change to be hard, a least a part of it. Whether it's being forced to move to a new city and starting life over, or finally walking down the aisle to begin another chapter of life with your soul mate, or losing a parent, or going through a tragedy, or getting into the college of your dreams, or something as simple as a new haircut---- there are a lot of emotions that come with ending one "season of life" and starting a new one. Sometimes it's dominated by excitement for the upcoming season; sometimes it's regret for not seizing every opportunity of that season you were presented with; sometimes it's nervousness of life's "what ifs"; sometimes it's pure joy that you've finally got to this place you've been striving for; sometimes it's anger because you just aren't understanding why this door closing/door opening thing is really necessary; ...and usually it can be all of these feelings at some point because change can be a hard pill to swallow.
I find, more often than I would probably ever admit, that while I do have all of these emotions at once, my dominate emotion for change is sheer fear. Terror. Anxiety. Worry. Don't ask me why because I honestly could not tell you, but my natural reaction for change is just like the Israelites had when Moses led them into the desert for 40 whole years (talk about a long time to get used to the same surroundings), and then God gave them the Promised Land. The place God talked about was so beautiful and had many blessings awaiting the other side, but they didn't want to go because they were USED to the manna, the heat, the walking, the unpleasantness of the desert. God was trying to say that He had high ways in store for their next season of life, but they didn't want to readjust to the new things. So often, I do this. I feel like we all do this, maybe not on the same extreme levels, but we all have the same fear of "I like where I am at, so I would rather stay."
Here's the thing though: Life doesn't slow down. It's like a carousal, it never stops turning (Meredith Grey, again, for all my fellow Grey's lovers out there). I just finished my sophomore year of college, and I honestly feel like I just moved in to MC yesterday. I have to watch friends moving on into graduation and into their own lives of adulthood. I was blessed with over 30 beautiful girls, 7 insanely awesome staff members that turned into friends, and 1 incredible boss that has taught me so much in just 9 short months, and in the blink of an eye, it's gone. I have lived in the same dorm for 2 years, but next year I LEAVE. I don't get to spend my summer at home with family and friends----However, I DO get to START my junior year of college where I begin my major classes. I can stay in touch and be proud of those friends while getting to make new ones. I get 30 something more incredible NEW residents in August, 7 NEW ladies with beautiful hearts to serve and grow with, 1 MORE boss that I am sure I will also deeply admire in more unique ways. I DO get to move to a new dorm awaiting me new opportunities. I DO get to spend my summer serving as a camp counselor where I am looking to see how God is going to grow me. So we need to embrace all of that without disregarding that the "old" season was special, that while it is ending, the relationships formed through it and lessons taught during it don't have to end, and that the future WILL be exciting and just as stellar as the first, in it's own way that we may not see right away; we can't see the big picture.
Saying all of this doesn't mean that I have it down perfectly. I, in fact, am far from perfect on the topic of "embracing change," ask anyone who decently knows me. However, I can say this because it doesn't matter what it looks like on the flip side. A huge difference is made in our attitude to say "His ways are higher, so I know that no matter what is on top of the next mountain, it's going to be grand one day." And that maybe, if we stop letting fear be the dominant emotion, it will be a whole lot easier to handle. Not to say that it's not okay to shed tears, I've shed many over all of this change. It's ago to be upset, to cry, to miss the old ways, to be angry, to be nervous, to feel inadequately prepared or so far from confident in yourself for the next challenge or roll you'll play. I know I do.
But we are called to trust. We are called to be ready. Life doesn't stop, all things have to end at some point. This life is a mere breath in the scheme of eternity, so love with your whole heart and be ready when God calls you some new idea. There is a reason for it, He didn't step down from His thrown when He placed that new step in front of you. Pray for your season of change. Pray for the old, pray for the new. Be thankful for them both because even the most minuscule things play a role in your story because ultimately it's not your story, it's His in you.
Here is to anyone who is going through a season of change. I know it's hard, and stressful, and it may turn out different than you expected (that is a whole other topic in itself because rarely do we plan anything perfectly). I identify with you and pray that this has been a tiny source of encouragement. Here's to the closing of doors and openings of others. Here's to change.
